The Deep Connection Between Mental Health and Self-Worth
For as long as I can remember, I’ve wrestled with self-esteem. My mom and stepdad always uplifted me, speaking life into me, but for some reason, I internalized the voices of others instead. Their criticisms, their opinions, their words…those were the ones that echoed the loudest. Over time, I let them shape the way I thought about myself. The result? A cycle of self-doubt and negative self-talk that felt impossible to break.
In my early 20s, I tried to tackle self-esteem from the outside in. I went on a weight loss journey that, at first, felt transformational. And in many ways, it was. I proved to myself that I could stick to a promise I made to me! I lost the weight, I gained attention, and I felt more confident in my appearance. But if I’m honest, much of that shift was superficial. The deeper work of truly believing in myself still hadn’t happened.
Now, in my 30s, I find myself facing a different battle. After leaving my stable career as a teacher to pursue entrepreneurship, I’ve been learning just how much self-worth and confidence matter when you’re building something new. It takes a certain level of self-belief (and a touch or two of delusion) to walk away from comfort and step into the unknown in search of better. Some days I feel unstoppable; other days, doubt creeps in and whispers, Who do you think you are to do this?
That’s where the deeper connection between mental health and self-worth comes in.
How Negative Self-Talk Shapes Self-Worth
Negative self-talk isn’t just “being hard on yourself.” It’s a habit that affects the way you see your value, your capabilities, and your potential. When you constantly criticize yourself, your brain starts to treat those thoughts as truth. Over time, this can look like:
Questioning your abilities even when you’re qualified.
Avoiding risks or opportunities because you assume you’ll fail.
Seeking validation from others instead of trusting yourself.
I lived in this cycle for years. Every time I doubted myself as a child, as a young woman, or now as an entrepreneur, I reinforced the idea that I wasn’t enough. The fact of the matter is that our mental health and our self-worth are deeply intertwined. When one suffers, the other does too.
How Self-Worth Impacts Mental Health
Your sense of self-worth doesn’t just influence how you feel about yourself, it directly impacts your overall mental health. When your self-worth is shaky, your mental health often takes the hit. And when your self-worth is strong, your mental health flourishes.
When Self-Worth is Low:
You may be more vulnerable to anxiety and depression, often questioning whether you’re good enough or deserving of happiness.
Low self-worth can fuel perfectionism, making you believe that unless you achieve or perform flawlessly, you’re unworthy of love or success.
It can create unhealthy dynamics in relationships, where you overextend yourself or tolerate treatment that doesn’t honor your values.
When Self-Worth is Strong:
You’re more likely to set healthy boundaries, protecting your energy and mental well-being.
You experience a greater sense of resilience, bouncing back from challenges instead of internalizing them as personal failures.
A solid sense of worth fosters self-compassion, helping you speak kindly to yourself in moments of struggle and reminding you that you’re worthy regardless of what you accomplish.
In short, the way you perceive yourself becomes the filter through which you experience the world. A fragile sense of worth can distort your reality, while a strong one can make life’s challenges feel manageable.
How Therapy Helps Rebuild Confidence
The good news? Just like negative self-talk shapes self-worth, so does the practice of rewriting our inner dialogue.
Here are a few therapeutic tools that have been powerful in my own journey and in the work I do with clients:
1. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): Challenging the Inner Critic
CBT helps us identify unhelpful thought patterns and replace them with balanced, empowering ones. For example, when I catch myself thinking, “I’ll never figure this out as an entrepreneur,” I challenge that by remembering:
I am the first in my family to do this.
Mistakes are not failures; they are lessons.
I’ve succeeded before by persevering, and I can do it again.
By writing down and reframing those thoughts, I slowly shift the narrative from doubt to determination.
2. Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (MBCBT): Staying Present
Mindfulness practices help ground me when anxiety about the future creeps in. Instead of spiraling about whether I’ll “make it,” I return to the present moment: my breath, my body, my environment. From that place of calm, I’m able to remind myself, “Right now, I am safe. Right now, I am capable.”
3. Speaking to “Younger Desi”
This one is deeply personal. I’ve learned to speak to myself with the compassion I needed as a child and teen. Instead of berating myself for mistakes, I practice saying things like:
“You’re doing the best you can, and that’s enough.”
“I’m proud of you for trying something hard.”
“You don’t need to be perfect to be worthy of love and success.”
By tending to that younger version of myself, I give her the love she always deserved and help my present self feel supported.
Journal Prompts for Reflection
I invite you to take some time with these prompts and see what comes up:
What are three negative thoughts you often repeat to yourself? How might you challenge or reframe them?
Think back to a younger version of yourself. What words of encouragement does she need to hear from you today?
When in your life have you proven to yourself that you could do something hard? How can you tap into that same energy now?
Final Thoughts
If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that confidence is an ongoing practice. Healing your self-worth isn’t about achieving perfection but about consistently reminding yourself of your value, even when doubt shows up.
For me, that looks like remembering I’m the first in my family to take this leap, and that it’s okay to stumble along the way. For you, it might look like challenging your inner critic, practicing mindfulness, or speaking words of kindness to the younger version of yourself.
The connection between mental health and self-worth is undeniable. The more we nurture one, the stronger the other becomes.
Ready to Heal Your Confidence?
If you’re on your own journey of shifting from self-doubt to self-love, I’d be honored to walk alongside you. Together, we can explore the tools, insights, and strategies to help you quiet your inner critic and build a life rooted in confidence and self-worth.
Book a session today and take your next step toward healing your confidence.
