The Power of Positive Questioning: How “Askfirmations” Rewire Your Mind for Growth
Words are more than just sounds. They’re energy. Spells, even. I learned this lesson the hard way. For years I repeated quiet, cutting phrases in my head that echoed sentiments like, “You’re not good enough,” or “You’ll never get it right.” Those thoughts felt like facts, shaping how I saw myself and the risks I was willing to take.
When I started my journey as a therapist and entrepreneur, I realized I couldn’t build a life of confidence on a foundation of self-criticism. Like many people, I turned to affirmations, but honestly, I just couldn’t get myself to believe them. Telling myself, “You are a powerful and savvy businesswoman.” or “Your bank account is overflowing with money.” felt like a stretch when my reality didn’t match the words.
Then I stumbled across a concept that was a game-changer for me. I can’t remember the actual name of it, but a name that comes to mind as I write this is, “positive questioning”. I’ve seen some people call them “askfirmations” or “iffirmations.” Whatever the label, the idea is that instead of declaring something you don’t yet believe, you ask a question that nudges your brain to find evidence of possibility. For example, if I tell myself something I may not necessarily believe to be true, my brain is going to find every piece of evidence that contradicts that statement. Thoughts such as, “You literally only have $2 in your bank account right now.” or “You didn’t ask the right questions during that session.”, take over my brain and the affirmations become null and void. So instead of saying, “I have an overflowing bank account.” Or “I am a top-rated therapist.”, I ask, “Why is my bank account growing every month?” or “Why am I such a confident therapist?”
That small shift does wonders. When you pose a question, your mind naturally starts scanning for answers. Rather than arguing with a statement it doesn’t buy, your brain goes on a treasure hunt for proof that the question could be true. Over time, those small bits of evidence start stacking up and changing how you see yourself.
Why Positive Questioning Works
From a therapeutic perspective, this method taps into the principles of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), which teaches that our thoughts shape our feelings and behaviors. A well-crafted question like, “How am I becoming more confident each day?”, redirects our attention toward strengths, opportunities, and small wins. This gradual re-focusing helps reframe limiting beliefs and build self-trust.
There’s also a neurological reason it feels different from traditional affirmations. When you ask a question, your brain engages in something called the “question-behavior effect,” a psychological phenomenon where asking about a behavior increases the likelihood of performing it (Wilding, 2019). Instead of passively hearing words, you actively search for connections, which strengthens new mental pathways.
Unlike affirmations that can feel hollow or spark internal arguments, positive questioning invites curiosity. It says, “Show me where this is already happening,” which is far easier for the mind to accept than a bold statement that feels untrue.
How to Practice Positive Questioning
You can start small and build consistency:
Choose a focus area. Pick one theme: confidence, relationships, finances, health, etc.
Frame it as a “why” or “how” question. Examples: “Why do I attract supportive friendships?” or “How am I growing more resilient every week?”
Journal or reflect. Spend a few minutes writing any evidence or small examples that surface. Even the tiniest proof (like a kind text from a friend or a compliment from a coworker) counts.
Repeat daily. Ask the same question morning and night. The repetition trains your mind to keep noticing new evidence.
A few starter prompts:
“Why am I capable of handling today’s challenges?”
“How am I becoming more financially secure every week?”
“Why do I deserve to feel confident in my body?”
“How am I surrounded by love and support right now?”
Practice Makes “Perfect”
To strengthen the effect, pair your questions with mindful action. If you’re asking “Why am I feeling stronger every week?” consider adding gentle movement as you reflect like yoga, stretching, or a walk. If your question is about financial growth, set aside a few minutes to review your budget or celebrate even a small savings milestone. Each action reinforces the answers your brain is looking for.
You can also integrate positive questioning into existing habits:
Morning routine: Ask your question as soon as you wake up, before checking your phone.
Movement or exercise: Use each step or breath as a silent cue to repeat the question.
Evening wind-down: End the day by writing down three bits of evidence that support your question.
Final Thoughts
Positive questioning doesn’t magically erase problems, but it does redirect your inner dialogue. Instead of fueling self-criticism, you invite your mind to look for possibility and progress.
For me, it’s been a profound shift. Each time I ask, “Why am I a confident therapist?” I remember the clients I’ve helped, the degrees I’ve earned, and the courage it took to start a business. Evidence of my growth is everywhere. I just had to start asking the right questions to see it.
If affirmations have ever felt like empty words, give positive questioning a try. Your brain loves a puzzle. Offer it a powerful question, and it will start finding the answers that move you forward.
Sources:
Wilding, S., Conner, M., Prestwich, A., Lawton, R., & Sheeran, P. (2019). Using the question-behavior effect to change multiple health behaviors: An exploratory randomized controlled trial. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 81, 53–60. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jesp.2018.07.008
